I am preparing a plan for my children’s inheritance. I don’t know how to tell them.

Pay Dirt is Slates’ financial advice column.Have a question?Send it to Athena and Elizabeth here.(It’s anonymous!)

Dear Pay Dirt,

In the past, adults often died young enough that an inheritance could help young adults become financially stable. Today, not only are we living longer, but the economic reality for the younger generation is quite dire.

I was wondering if I should give my children an inheritance before I died. My kids won’t be able to buy a house for several years now, but I think I have enough money to put down a very large deposit, enough to give them affordable housing and reduce the number of years they they would dispose. a mortgage. Based on my financial projections, I should have enough money to do this for my two children by the time they want to buy a house. Even with the money I would give away, my projections show me that the amount of money I need to live comfortably for a long retirement is much higher. The fact is that I don’t know how much money I will have left when I die. It depends entirely on how long I live and I don’t intend to be so frugal that I don’t enjoy my life until I die. My problem is telling my children, “I’ll help you buy a house, but you might not get much out of my inheritance; that sounds cold and morbid.” Do you think this is a good plan and do you have any advice on how I could approach this topic with my children in a sensitive way?

Stingy with inheritance

Dear miser of inheritance,

Planning and talking about your death can seem morbid and cold, so I understand your hesitation. But I think giving your kids the down payment on a house or the money for another major life goal would be meaningful to both of you. However, there are a few things I would consider before moving forward with this plan.

First of all, do you know that your children want to buy a house? Owning a home is still a dream for many, and I think the idea of ​​you helping them with the down payment so they have an affordable mortgage is a generous decision. But there are other responsibilities that come with homeownership, like maintenance and property taxes, that may not seem too appealing. So, would you be open to the idea of ​​generating cash flow for another dream they have, like going to college or starting a family? Both activities can bring immense joy to your children and allow you to celebrate with them. If they want a house, is it financially viable for them to take care of it on their own once you’re gone?

I think the next step for you is to sit down individually with each child and tell them that you will be reviewing your retirement numbers soon. Suggest that you consider cash gifts rather than inheritances and ask them what they would do with the money if they had the chance. This way, you’re not promising anything without hearing their goals first and then you can reassess the situation from there. Good luck!

Athena

Classic Prudie

I know it seems unbelievable, but a former close friend who suffered from mental illness faked suicide. She launched into a series of volatile rants at me on her Facebook, through her messaging app, and finally in an email a few months ago, accusing me of terrible things that allegedly happened 20 years earlier. Friends of hers, who I assumed was really just her, took up the cause and contacted me through her accounts. Nothing I said calmed him. It ended after two days of frenzy.